but I miss being pregnant. I know, I know, it may sound crazy and ridiculous. It may sound selfish as we have two little healthy bundles but I was only pregnant for a short 26 weeks. I was feeling great, still working and my doctor was sure I would make it to 35 weeks. He said I would be huge and I would feel miserable but he was positive I would be okay. Ha! Little did he know Carter had other plans to enter the world super early. I guess this is what they call post postpartum depression. I don't think I'm depressed but I think about this stuff every day. What would life be like if they were born at 32 weeks or even 35? It was my job to carry these babies and I couldn't even do it. Carter and Luke only had a 70% chance to live. I don't know what went wrong. The doctors didn't know what went wrong but sometimes I just feel so guilty for everything the boys had to go through. Spending 89 days in a hospital is no way to enter the world. They weren't suppose to be given blood transfusions and fed through a tube or use a machine to breath their first breathe. That's not fair to them. Why does God allow these things to happen?
|Carter opening his eyes|
|Carter's first diaper change|
|Carter finally grabbed on|
|Luke squeezing Mommy's finger|
|Luke's second blood transfusion|
We thank God every day for these miracle babies and we are such strong believers in the faith of God. His power to heal is one amazing thing.